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Answering the Tough Questions

Alyssa McClure - May 12, 2015

Every person who has been through the wedding planning process has come across one of those questions that tests their moral compass. We want the wedding to be what we want, but we don't want to offend anyone in the process. It can be difficult to decide how far to go to make sure the big day is what you imagined. Here are just a few of those questions that make you cringe, and our best possible solutions.

Can I have a "No Children" Policy?

Yes. If you're not a kid person, or you just don't want to risk screaming children interrupting your ceremony, don't invite kids. You just need to be upfront in the invitations. It is traditional for invitations to say something like, "Dr. and Mrs. McClure and family" if children are invited. On the inside RSVP card, you will hand write the name of each person, including children. If you are not having kids, you would instead write "Dr. and Mrs. McClure." The attached RSVP would then include only the names of the parents. In general, a no kids policy means you would not have a flower girl or ring bearer. If you have some children but not all, it makes people feel that their children were specifically unwanted. The exception to this rule is if you only invite children in the family. That way out of town family doesn't have to find babysitters for the weekend, but you don't have to worry about 100 toddlers taking over your dance floor.

Do I have to Invite that Cousin I Don't Like?

Well, that depends. If you are inviting every cousin in both families, yes, you have to invite them. Not only will that particular cousin be offended, but it will likely cause unwanted strife between other family members as well. It will be less stressful to just let them come than to make a statement by withholding their invitation. Chances are, you won't see them for longer than five minutes anyways. Now, of course, if there is a serious, dangerous, or traumatic reason for your bad relationship with this person then they absolutely do not have to be invited. If, however, your cousin stole your ninth grade boyfriend and you've never gotten over it, that's probably not a good enough reason not to invite her.

Do I have to Pay for a Hotel for my Out-of-town Guests?

Absolutely not. You're throwing a wedding, and if you're anything like me, that has pretty much tied up your money. If you have very close family members who are unable to stay in your home, sure, pay for a room or two. It is very nice for you to book the rooms on behalf of your family members, but you do not have to pay for rooms for fifty family members. Reserving rooms will make sure family can be together and also guarantee them a decent hotel when they get into town. Welcome bags are also appreciated. They are spending a lot of money to come and show you how much they love you; leaving them a little gift is a kind way to say you appreciate their presence.

Do I have to Offer a Vegetarian Option?

I would say not say you absolutely have to, but it is the nice thing to do. People with vegetarian diets are often left with nothing to eat at catered events. It won't cost that much more to add pasta with vegetables; this way, your vegetarian friends and family will feel like they were able to have a real meal rather than just sides.

You want your loved ones to know they are thought of and cared about. That's what makes it so hard to know what to do sometimes. We want you to feel comfortable and confident in your decisions, so let us answer the tough questions for you! If you still need some questions answered, subscribe to our newsletter and check out our blog on wedding traditions! Let us know if there are any other tricky situations by Tweeting at @bridalbprint, commenting on our Facebook page, or commenting below. Tag your questions #AskAlyssa and we will get back to you ASAP. We hope to hear from you soon, and until we do, we'll be here at Bridal Blueprint brainstorming even more ways to ease all your wedding planning worries!

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