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What About My Bridesmaids?

Alyssa McClure - April 4, 2015

They've been by your side through your childhood, college, your first real job, your first kiss, and your first of everything else. Your wedding is about you and your fiancé, but it wouldn't be complete without your girls. A lot more goes into bridesmaids than most would think, and it can be stressful. So let me walk you through everything you need to know to ensure nothing keeps your big day from being perfect.

How to Choose Your Bridesmaids

To quote mothers everywhere, "less is more." I know it seems like you need every one of your sorority sisters walking down the aisle, but the fewer girls you choose, the easier it will be to coordinate everyone. It's also important to remember that each bridesmaid adds significant cost to your wedding. Bridesmaid gifts, matching jewelry, professional hair and makeup, and another spot at the rehearsal dinner are all additional expenses that will really eat into your budget. Something that was important to me when choosing my bridal party was including people I knew would be in my life for a long time. Other than my aunt, I have never met or known anything about my mom's bridesmaids. Some of them, she barely even remembers. You are going to have these pictures your entire life, make the memories with people who will still be there to talk about later in life. Most importantly, choose your best friends, whoever they may be. For me, this meant having a man of honor! Ask people who are special to you and will make your wedding even more precious.

How to Ask Your Bridesmaids

Right now, it's a huge trend to find a creative and unique way to ask your bridesmaids. I gave each of mine a Tervis Tumbler with a diamond ring design on the side, and they loved it! Give them ring pop proposals, decorate their door or car - there are limitless possibilities! These little "bridesmaid proposals" will make them feel loved and appreciated. Plus, it will give you an opportunity to thank each one individually for everything they've been to you.

How to Choose Dresses

There are two basic options when choosing bridesmaids dresses: one dress, or varying styles. If you're going with one dress, the most important thing is to choose a dress that is well suited for many body types. In the future, we will blog much more on this issue, but for now, just keep in mind what will make your girls feel comfortable. The last thing you want is to make someone feel insecure and embarrassed. If you decide to go with various styles, the body issue is irrelevant, as girls can choose a style they feel comfortable wearing. If you go this route, I recommended narrowing it down to three things: designer, color, and fabric. So, for example, let's say you choose dresses by the designer "Jasmine," in the color "Sweet Pea," and in the fabric "Poly-Chiffon." Any dress that meets all three of those criteria can be worn by one of your maids. This allows you to be sure that you will like all the styles, and the dresses will still go together. It is often not wise to choose dresses in different fabrics or different styles, and the differences in color and material will be noticeable. When making your decision, keep the context in mind. Sure, you may think girls in different colors will look best, but remember all these colors will draw attention away from you.

What Should They Be Invited To?

Everything. If you have five showers, your bridesmaids should be invited to every single one. This does not mean you should expect them to come to every shower. If each girl comes to at least one, I would say you're doing well. It's unfair to expect your bridesmaids to attend every event, especially since they typically involve presents. One shower and a bachelorette party is plenty. Of course, if you're having a night where everyone is crafting or filling out invitations, that's definitely an event it's best to have everyone attend. Just be reasonable in your expectations, and you will get more out of your girls, and they won't feel taken advantage of.


They're going to be fixing your train, adjusting your veil, and helping you use the restroom; they deserve some acknowledgement. Traditionally, the bridesmaid gift is the jewelry they wear in the wedding. Recently, many people have begun giving separate gifts in addition to their jewelry, such as monogrammed shirts, or tote bags. Whatever you choose, they will love it, and they will love that you thought of them.

Bridesmaids can be difficult, but they're your best friends. They will help you get through all the little challenges that go with the wedding day and make everything run smoothly. Other than your man, there is no one else you'd rather dance the night away with, so take care of your bridal party, and your big day will be even more amazing! If you want to bring them along to help find your dress, read our advice on how to find the perfect wedding dress first! Don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter for weekly tips, and as always, happy planning!

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